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by David W. Asche

I had a job that was kind of monotonous, but it allowed me to work sitting down for once.  I was in a room with a bunch of older women and one 'older than me' man.  The job was repetitious and was all 'hands and fingers' type of work , so I was wearing headphones and a CD player blasting Hard Rock music into my head and I could mentally disconnect and be someplace else...such as in my foundry or on a canoe trip, without going there physically.  The old women were chatting about stuff that I usually didn't care about, so it didn't concern me. 


One day, they were signaling to me that they desired my attention...So I took off my headphones to see what they wanted.  It turned out that the women were discussing the side of the bed they slept on, where it was located in relation to the access to the bathroom, next to a window, how far it was around the bed and all kinds of stuff concerning THEIR location in the Master Bedroom in their home.

Since it was all WOMEN who were giving input to this geography of the home, they sought  a MALE response to see if it varied from the FEMALE views and ideas.

They asked me what side of the bed I slept on as opposed to where my wife slept and asked WHY I slept where I did.

I said, "As I lay in the bed, face up, I am on the right-hand side of the bed. "

They said, "Why that side?"

I replied, "Because I am right-handed."

Their response was also accompanied by a quizzical expression on their faces, "What does THAT have to do with it?"

I replied, "Because my RIGHT HAND can FIND THINGS IN THE DARK."

STILL, they didn't quite 'get it', and their response went even deeper into the subject... They said, "What does THAT have to do with what side of the bed you sleep on?"

So, I laid it all out for them..."My right hand knows every single part of my wife's anatomy and it can tell exactly what part of her body it touches and it can find where it needs to go in the dark without any lights being on or anything like that."

All their faces got red and they said, "OH, you are NASTY!"

I went back to my music and letting my imagination go to other places.  The women learned a few things that day.

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