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  • Well as Cavalla's ops officer always used to say, "Damn - torpedoes. Full speed ahead!"
  • The 2 guys you don't wanna be on a submarine. 1 = the guy who didin't hang the "blowing sanitary tanks" in the Captains or Goat Locker head. 2 = the guy who didn't read the sign when he entered the head. Either case somebody is gonna get covered in it, the whole crews gonna know it, and one lucky bubblehead is gonna get to clean it up.
  • On my last tour of duty I had a sign hanging above my desk it read: "Rank is inversly proportional to intelligence."
    One day I'm sitting there getting some five part (with carbons) paperwork done and I feel a presence behind me.
    After a few moments the person behind me taps me on the shoulder and says, "Petty Officer, can you explain this sign?"
    I turned around and there stands a full line commander. I came to a proper attention and said, "Sir, with all due respect to your rank and position in the Navy; you have just proven my point."
    He exited my office scratching his head.
  • Here's one I found on Funnydot:

    The new Ensign was assigned to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master Chief with his expertise learned in Submarine School. The Master Chief cut him off quickly and said, "Listen, 'sir', it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the hatch."
    • This a good one .Reminds me of a time on sea duty we were drills where the duty crew could get the ship underway . Young Ensign ran up to CPO mess chief,chief the crew can't get the lifeboat in the water by the time we got down there it was in the water and back on board with dummy. Not that funny but we all have start some place. BMC T.Wallin
    • ...all I can say is "The only good marine is a SUBmarine"
      • I've never heard that one, Hook! Too funny!
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